Still Thinking

Still Thinking

is tomorrow going to come?

waking up to the wrong place
in the perfection of the right time
with stale torment and surprising delicacy
i’m no longer cozy in my flesh

my malnourished thoughts have learned to detest my diet
and grown weary of the limitations installed
by the bitterness nuzzling into my open sores
seeping into polluted veins

waiting for “happened”
i find no pity
for I have seen that yesterday’s labor
and yesterday’s results
are not today’s expectation
more than feel
i watch these suicide tears scream out of my sockets
squeezing out of and falling from the mouth of fake hopelessness
pressuring my eyes from behind to a hazardous blur

no headaches
no inhuman rage
no farewell letters
only the Truth and i
meeting this and every moment to the face
threshing out the faintest scent of “quit”
piercing to the joint and marrow
discerning the thought and the intent
converting the soul
so less souls have excuse to seek life outside of the Light

i’m no longer comfy in the flesh
a lily playing too close to weeds
a dream sitting too close to death
a poem reading too close to distraction
an advantage walking too close to sloth
a breath at once caught
and drawn passed the black and white too fast to see the gray
and landed into the red chambers of redemption
chasing after me
finding God
chasing after God
finding me
grasping bounds that do not instead shackle me
but hold me to this discovery
mold me with recovery

i’m now restful in this flesh

Christ in me
the Hope of Glory